so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
