it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
NoShamevember. You game?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
