Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
