I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
