She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
