$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
