ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize