Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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