I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
