Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
