Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
