I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
