so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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