its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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