dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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