I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
