God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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