Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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