i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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