True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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