we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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