Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
