Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
