you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
