you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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