After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
