i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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