and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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