We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
