your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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