perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
