just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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