perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
