i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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