do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
