i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
