Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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