We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
