Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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