gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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