I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
