did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize