I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
