So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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