It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
