great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Randomize
