So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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