I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
false alarm. still invincible.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
