we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
