If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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