i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
