her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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