My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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