I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
