its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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