hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
