so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
