i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
