Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
