ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize