You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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