I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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