dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
