WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
